And finally, the people I miss..........

These are not in any particular order........lets just start with my MOM.....

There is something about losing your mom......especially if you are a daughter. It is like a little piece of you is missing..Mom died on "Pearl Harbor Day" Dec. 7th 1990. I wish she were here so I could tell her how much I appreciated all those years she helped me with my little kids....even when she was way too old to be doing it. She was amazing. This picture reminds me of how much she read. When she got older, she would read the same pages over and over again because she could not remember that she read them. As a teenager, I think I gave her a bad wrap...sometimes I wish I could go back and be a better daughter for her and for me. My sister Carolyn has told me that mom was really a fun mom who had a lot of friends. She had bad hearing and I think that some how that changed her perspective on a lot of things. She was a pretty positive person and a really really great grandma. I love her and miss her and if she were here I would give her a big hug......miss you mom.... PS....You would really love my grand kids.

Next, My DAD

This is a picture of my dad when he was younger. I loved him so much. I loved to ride horses with him and tease him by trying to curl his thinning hair with my finger while he was trying to watch TV. He did not watch TV that much, but he did love a good "fight" on the Tube. It was fun to watch him watch the fights. He would move his arms like the fighters, like a flinch sort of. I don't think he even knew he was doing that. He also rubbed his thumb a lot, the one he cut off at the "Iron Works". Dad loved "Lawrence Welk" and watched it religiously. He was a very hard worker. He worked in a dark building, welding at the "Ogden Iron works" he also had worked for the Railroad. He worked a very hard physical job. He wore overalls to work and took his lunch to work every day his whole life. He was a religious man whom I always saw reading his scriptures. He loved his horses. They were his escape I think. He enjoyed people and was friendly. He was not just "on time" for things he was always 10 minutes early. He loved to sing and sang with the Southern Pacific Men of Song. He died way too early. He was only 66. He died August 14 1975. Holly was just 2 1/2 years old. I miss him terribly. Dad, you would have thought my kids were amazing.....and would have loved my grand kids as well. I already know what you thought of Doug.........

Doug's DAD

John was very influential in my life while I was raising my kids, and holding down Church jobs. He did so much for me. I got a lot of credit for things I came up with or dances I decorated for, or plays I wrote, or productions & party's I was in charge of, but John is the one that made it happen. He helped me put together slide shows, built scenery, drove tractors, etc etc. He never complained. He also did a lot when we built our house, building cabinets, helping with the trim, hammering and sawing everything. John could do anything, and if he did not know how, he figured it out. Doug is like that as well, he had a good teacher. They worked side by side building this house. John was a genealogist, a spiritual man, a smart mathematician and loved to figure out how to make things. He was a farmer and a teacher. John was beloved by his children and grandchildren. He went through a lot in his life suffering heart bypasses, a stroke in Cairo Egypt, and was frustrated when his brain would no longer let him learn or retain his lifelong memories. He called LouJean "the boss" and it was evident how much he loved her. I don't know how he felt about me because he never really said anything bad about anyone....I am sure there were times I disappointed him....but he never made me feel that way. He loved the land.......I miss him and appreciate his example. He died October 7th 2005.

Doug's brother Jeff

This is a picture of Jeff, myself, his brother Mark and Nikki at Doug's sister Jolene's wedding. Jeff was Doug's younger brother and was a "gentle soul". He was very smart. He loved to fly airplanes and once landed in our field. At the time of his death, he loved to jump off mountains and "Wind Surf". Jeff wired our house for us. He too could figure most things out. He endured a lot in his life. He left four children behind. He was just 40 years old. He was playing church basketball and went up for a lay-up and came back down and died. They found out he had some weird electrical heart problem. He died January 19th 1995. This was a very sad time for the Wilson's to lose a grown son, brother, and dad. It is one of the few times I have seen Doug cry. We all miss him. Even now if his name is brought up, it is just so sad to even imagine that he was gone so early. Jeff, you are missed.

My 1st born....Brady John

This picture was taken in Tombstone Arizona at the OK Corral [with Doc Holliday] just days before Brady was born. It is one of the few pictures I have of me pregnant with Brady. I was not feeling well that day and did not even care if I had curlers in my hair. Brady was due July 15th and was born May 24th 1972. We had just moved to Sierra Vista, Arizona as Doug was in the Army. We were about 60 miles away from any "NICU". My water broke while Doug was on base, I was staying with a friend that day in town. It was a very scary time for us. I had not even thought about labor, or what I was going to do with a baby. We had a bassinet, and a few clothes and blankets, but that is all. I had a very hard labor because I was not prepared for it. My memories are few of those few hours. It was not an enjoyable time. It should have been a celebration of life, but all I remember was darkness. I heard a faint cry, I saw a little hand waving on a table a little ways away. He lived for a little over an hour. His lungs were weak because it was so early. I never saw him, never held him, never fed him. They just took him away......I was too naive to ask. Doug and I grieved as best we could. Hard months followed. I did not want to go to church...Doug went to hold on. We brought him home to bury him in Eden in a little white satin box. Melba Hogge sang "Lullaby and Good Night" while Janice accompanied on the violin. Brady was the first person in our immediate family to die. No one knew how to handle it, or what to do. I grieved by writing down my feelings, holding on to cards, condolences, pictures of the grave site....just trying to hold on. Doug grieved in silence trying to hold it all together. For me life stopped for awhile....but like all things of sadness, the Savior pulls you thru. Now it is years later and I have felt Brady's influence in my life. He brought me back to my family. Every once in a while, I wonder what he would have been like. I look at his brother Mac, and I wonder if he would have brought me as much joy as Mac has. I wonder how he would have fit into our family....if he would have been a happy child. Would he have loved the Wilson ground as much as his dad does. Would he have loved to sing like his grandpa Ferrin, or have a tender heart like his sister Holly? Would he be a "peacemaker" like his sister Robin, or always looking to do service for others like Nikki? Would he and Mac have been friends? Would he have been creative and artistic like Carly? Would he be as "forgiving" as his dad and brother and sisters? Would he have been some "glue" in bad times...would he have honored his Priesthood? Not a day used to go by that I did not think of him. But now, he is a sweet memory, and now I am on the other side of life.....the time is closer to when I will be reunited with him again, than it is to when he was born. It gives me hope and something to look forward to and even though death scares me, I will have my son to greet me there....and I will see him and hold him and have him to myself, if only for a moment. The promise is there. I will work hard to do my part. I love Brady John....and look forward to a great reunion.

While all of these family members are gone, I will never forget them and the influence they have had in my life. Life is just a cycle...you are born and you die and you live again. On your journey you meet people who influence who you are and what you do. I hope everyone will be so lucky to have as wonderful people in their life as I have had in mine.